


Can't Not Love You

by oatmealcrisp



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Wendigo!Josh, blood kink maybe?, dullahan!chris, spooky-scary-prince, their dullahan!chris au is gr9 i love it to bits, these nerds are so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5071828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oatmealcrisp/pseuds/oatmealcrisp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris came out to his parents when he was seventeen but now that they've recovered theres another secret he needs to share, with Josh. The crush he's been nursing for nine years is only part of it. (Josh's pov)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Not Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Spooky-Scary-Prince over in tumblrland has an amazing au that I just needed to write a fic for. This is probably gonna stay a oneshot maybe.

'Dude, there's something I gotta tell you. Can you come over?'

To say that Josh was nervous was a bit of an understatement. He drove carefully past the urge to barge his way through traffic, slower than he normally would for fear that his anxiety would cause him to fuck something, or someone, up.

What on earth could Chris want to talk about that made him sound so nervous? Not for the first time his imagination strayed to softly spoken confessions and warm hands and gentle pink lips and he grimaced at the way his heart quickened, battled back the blush that heated his ears.

It wasn't going to be a love confession. 'Keep your head together, Washington.' He navigated his truck around the corner leading to Chris's street, the half decent apartment building looming in the distance.

The blond's twenty-fourth birthday had only been a couple weeks ago, the first one they'd celebrated at Chris's new digs. His parents had helped him but a lot of the work had been his, years and years of saving and advisors until he'd finally made enough to conceivably buy his own place.

He'd been pretty stoked. Josh wasn't too surprised, it had gotten a little tense in the Cochise household after the blond had come out to his parents when he was seventeen. His dad wasn't always the most...sentimental of the lot.

(Honestly Josh thought he was a bigot but Chris always got pissy when he said as much. Less than savory views or not they did love each other and Chris would stand for no one sassing his parents, not even his bff.)

Pulling into a parking space and cutting the ignition, Josh sat back, closed his eyes and focused for a moment on his breathing until the jitters had settled and the anxiety was calmed. Exhaling slowly, tongueing the snaggle of the two fangs that hadn't been bad enough for the dentist to want to remove, he unbuckled and slipped out.

Hitting the ground with a fwump he pulled out his phone as he shut the door, shot off a quick text to his buddy that he was on his way up. The elevator ride was likewise spent focused on his breathing, eyes half mast as he watched the floor numbers light up and extinguish before it jerked to a stop. Soon enough he was staring at the door plaque the girls had made for Chris and after a moment of clenching his fists he blew out a rough breath and knocked.

"Come in!" Chris's voice was muffled but easily audible to his not-exactly-human ears and he stepped inside, toed off his shoes.

The apartment was of a decent size, done to a modern taste with a lot of minimalism and neutrals. The foyer opened straight into the livingroom, done in shades of grey and black with pops of blue and windows from which the water was barely visible but easier to see from the balcony.

"Hey kitty." Josh leaned down to scratch the ever present feline's cheek when she approached, mewling a greeting. Her name was some Gaelic word that he just couldn't pronounce for the life of him so she remained 'kitty' to him, years after she'd appeared. It was spelled Oiche but sounded totally different and he couldn't get his head around it.

It frustrated Chris endlessly that she actually responded to it. Josh thought it was hilarious.

The feline stood into his touch, rolled her back with another mewl before trotting over to the couch where Chris sat, tailless bottom held high. The blond reached down as she came around the couch then stood, slipped the cat onto his shoulders in a movement as easy as putting on a scarf.

He turned with a familiar crooked smile, his blue eyes warm in greeting and Josh tried not to let his heart pitter patter too hard.

"Hey bro! Ah, thanks for coming over on such short notice." Chris stepped around the couch and they clasped hands, bumped shoulders gingerly in consideration of the cat. 

"Was no worries. You sounded pretty nervous over the phone, is something wrong?"

"No, no! Well...I hope nothing's wrong anyways. Have a seat, do you want anything to drink?"

Chris seemed to be just as nervous as he was. Great, goody. Josh tried not to soak it up, flopped into the couch in a motion of forced relaxation.

"Got any beer?"

"Got some coolers. Want one?" The blond gestured at the fridge with a thumb, backed into the open concept kitchen with attentive eyes.

Josh was unable to restrain his snort, lips quirking in a wry grin. He could never get over Chris's aversion to beer. For a guy who came from Ireland he was adamant that it tasted like piss.

Or he was out of earshot of his mother anyways.

"Sure dude."

Moments later the blond was handing him a cool bottle and Josh popped the top off as the man moved to sit next to him. Maybe it was just his imagination but Chris seemed to sit close, until their thighs and shoulders were just barely touching.

What would it be like, to wrap an arm around his best friend's wide shoulders and draw him close until Chris's head was pillowed against his neck? What would it be like, for the blond's arms to wind around him in return?

This crush was getting way out of hand.

Silence, lingering in his ears as Chris seemed to gather up his courage. He kept his eyes forward, watching the program running on the widescreen television. Some anime, one he hadn't seen yet.

"So." Chris took a pull on the bottle before reaching forward to set it down on the table, stayed hunched over his knees. "I've, uhm, been meaning to talk to you about this for awhile. I really hope that I don't insult you by saying this, and it...really sucks that what happened to you happened but, I was...."

Wait, what? Josh turned narrow eyes to his friend's face, one that had gone sort of pale.

"It's aweful." Chris returned his gaze hesitantly. "But I was relieved, kind of, when you were turned. Well, mostly relieved when you came back to you, but, relieved that you...well..." He muttered an oath under his breath, shook his head. "This is coming out all wrong, holy shit. Uhm, look, can you just hold something for me?"

What in the actual fuck. Kind of angry, kind of hurt, Josh stared at Chris for a long moment before breathing out sharply.

"Yeah sure. Whatever."

"Great! Great. Uh."

The blond reached up, took his head in his hands and-

"Holy shit!" Josh shrieked, clawed back at the couch as he recoiled.

The body, the headless fucking body, turned and deposited a head into his hands. Josh trembled, stared at the body, looked down at the head which was blinking up at him, expression a somewhat fearful smile.

"Wha-what-what the fuck?" His voice shook and he glanced back up at the body, noted that a black plume had begun to waft from the empty hole of his neck.

"So uh, this is a thing! See, uhm, the reason why I was so relieved is cus I'm not-I'm not human! Obviously. Kind of. And, uhm, now you're not human and it's like, hooray! I don't gotta, like, hide and I'm not alone and, you know, stuff like that and-...Josh? Josh, bro, are you okay?"

Josh just whined, certain his brain was crumbling out of his ears.

It took about fifteen minutes for his mind to adjust, minutes that he spent clutching Chris's head and watching his body cuddle Oiche, the cat entirely undisturbed by the bizarre display.

"...You in there, bro?" Chris whispered eventually, voice tiny and hesitant.

"...Yeah." Josh blinked at the television for a moment longer before giving his head a shake and peering down into Chris's eyes. "So...what the hell are you, then?"

Chris winced a bit and maybe that wasn't the nicest way to phrase the question but whatever, after the 'I'm glad you're a psychocannibal tbh' bit, he could deal.

"Well, I am like, half human. But mom, she's a dullahan. They-we're fae, pretty much, based in Ireland."

"Uh huh...So what does that mean?" Josh furrowed his brows, head tilting slightly as he lifted the other's head to peer into the neck.

Now that the shock had passed he was actually kind of downright curious. The stump was all sinew and flesh and muscle and he could see what was probably the trachea flex as Chris spoke.

Which-how the hell did he even speak? His vocal chords were over there in the rest of his body, chilling out, totally disconnected.

"Well I mean-I guess the best way to describe us is that we're death omens, kind of. We come and we call and we make sure people die when they're supposed to."

Chris's grimace sharpened into a smile that was almost wry.

"We're unseelie, that is we're winter affiliated. Uhm-whenever I walk in on you in the shower? Locks just open for us. And when I have problems speaking it means someone's about to die. It gets-dullahan only speak when someone's going to die and even then it's just the to-be-deceased's name so since I'm half I get some of that."

"...Huh." 

Tilting Chris's head so he could look into the blond's face, Josh squinted.

"Mom can only speak when someone in range is about to kick it." 

Chris's lashes fluttered low over the blue of his eyes and he sighed, the smile completely gone from his face.

"I always...get the urge to go to them. When Hannah and Beth-" His face screwed up into a grimace. "It's why I drank so hard that night, I could feel someone was about to die. I just didn't know it would be them."

His eyes closed.

Josh felt the beginnings of horror stir in his chest.

"Dude..." He whispered and Chris released a shivery breath, reached over and took his head back.

A sleeve was knuckled under glasses and Chris turned his head around, settled it back onto his neck where it blended together seamlessly.

"I hate it, Josh." His voice was hoarse, his mouth hidden behind the steeple of his long fingers. "Always watching people die, feeling they're about to die, not being able to stop it, whispering their name when it comes to me and watching them go..."

Josh had no idea what to say, but he understood now, the relief Chris had been trying to express. It wasn't the same, their situations, but Josh understood it.

He understood it because even through the horror and sympathy that was turning his chest tight, he felt relief too. 

The urge to sink his teeth into the flesh of a human had never left. He craved it continuously, his gums and fingers itched for it, itched to rip into a bucking, struggling body and consume it whole. And here was a person who, while he didn't crave human flesh, death and killing were a huge part of his life when he didn't want it to be.

He wondered how many people Chris had watched die. He wondered if Chris thought he was actively murdering them by sending them onwards.

Did Chris feel suffocated, having needed to hide the nature of himself from them? Did their lack of support through lack of knowledge hurt him? Had he been afraid that they wouldn't accept him, that they'd think he was a monster just as Josh had feared?

His mouth was sandpaper dry but he didn't reach for the cooler sitting on the table, lifted his hand to rest it on Chris's shoulder. His palm slid across a broad back until he was touching ribs on the other side and he shifted, pulled Chris to him in a motion that made Oiche jump from his shoulders with a disgruntled mewl.

The younger man's head settled in the crook of his neck and for a moment Chris was stiff before his hands drifted from his face to settle on his ribs, clutched at his clothes with a soft groan of pain.

Josh slung his other arm around his friend, his best friend, dropped his chin to rest it on the blond's hair and closed his eyes.

"I get it now." He mumbled because he needed to express it, needed to apologize for his anger. "I get it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Chris."

He could feel them, fine trembles rushing up the man's body and a dampness staining the collar of his shirt. Josh had zero compunctions about it, didn't care if it was tears or snot, tightened his embrace. 

This was it. This was all he ever wanted to be, there for the blond he'd been crushing on since the sixth grade, holding him tight and helping him push through his sorrow to the other end. He loved this, the ability to support and care for Chris but more he wanted to be there when Chris was happy too. He wanted to hold the blond's hand and he wanted to make him smile.

This wasn't a crush. It had ceased being a crush long ago. This was full blown love and Josh sighed gently under the enormity of it, brushed his fingers through Chris's hair.

This probably wasn't the right time for a confession but he couldn't help it, hands moving under their own power as they took Chris's jaw and steered him upward. The blond looked up at him, face flushed and lashes wet behind his crooked glasses.

Josh moved the frames up to rest on the crown of his friend's head, leaned in to brush the tears away with his mouth. Chris gasped softly and he continue, careful of his teeth, until he tasted salt on his tongue. His heart was pounding in his chest, the 'what if' of anxiety settling in deep but he fought passed it, continued until his mouth was melding into the smooth lips of his best friend.

His courage was rewarded after a brief, heart stopping second when Chris mumbled something that sounded like "Oh thank God" into his skin, returned the kiss with gusto and Josh swore that in that moment he could feel his heart explode.

It was the sweetest thing he'd ever had. He'd kissed people before, drunkenly tongued his way into people's throats at parties, practiced with short lived significant others but nothing had ever felt so fulfilling and gratifying as this did now. It felt like a culmination, a goal reached when Chris's fingers slide into his hair and cupped him close.

This was real. This was happening.

They fell back and the heat of Chris's thighs as they straddled him was something he was totally unprepared for but eager to enjoy. Unable to stop himself he clasped the blond's hips in his hands, memorized the texture and width and heat with joy. Chest to chest they laid wrapped up in each other, lips dancing hypnotizingly slow and Josh knew that he would never get sick of this.

Chris was his. His claim had been laid the instant his fangs scraped over the blond's mouth and he was never letting go. Never. Something deep within him seemed to purr with fierce delight as he bit gently into Chris's bottom lip, a feeling of emptiness he hadn't even noticed filling with the man's soft sigh.

His eyes opened and he released the meat of lip between his teeth, finding Chris staring down at him with an expression so intensely fulfilled it gave Josh shivers.

"Unseelie..." The younger man voiced in a low rasp. "Are very possessive as a whole. If you mind this, you should leave now and never come back because I don't think I'll be able to control myself."

The very thought of leaving after he'd finally got what he'd been craving for years made Josh snarl animalistically, a howl of displeasure suffocated automatically in his chest.

"Never." 

Maybe later he'd appreciate the sentiment, that Chris cared for him so much that he'd give him a chance to back out. Not right now though, with the need to rub it in that Chris was his into the blond's dumb head. He reached up, dragged the other into a kiss that wasn't anywhere near the sweetness of before but just as intoxicating. Teeth clicked, tongues met and blood was drawn from the tender pink of Chris's mouth that made him shiver in delight.

Chris hardly seemed to care, groaned into his mouth as the tang of copper added flavour to their tongues. Josh growled as fingers tugged sharply at his hair, gripped Chris in an embrace that made the blond's bones creak. It was impossible not to relish in the feeling of adjacent darkness sinking into him, a black spice shot through Chris's veins that he never could have guessed at just by looking at him.

He'd been pushing his own away for so long, natural hate for everything begun by chemical imbalances augmented and transformed into a deeply buried sadism by his new supernatural nature. He'd feared for so long that if he ever did confess to Chris, the blackness of his soul would drive the man away.

Who would have thought Chris would be the same? Their second kiss and he could already sense it thrumming beneath the blond's skin in the way he mouthed and clung and moaned.

It was fantastic.

They parted finally, barely, blinking at each other with foggy eyes as they breathed into each other's mouths. There was still blood beading on the blond's lips and Josh couldn't resist closing the distance to suck it away with a sigh that Chris returned.

For a moment there was quiet, a comfortable one of newness and companionship. Chris broke it again. Not surprising, he loved to talk even if it was apparently hard for him to manage.

"Our wedding rings can't be gold." 

"Mn. You're allergic right?"

"Bit more than that. Can't stand the stuff."

"Hmm." Josh pulled until Chris settled his full weight on him, the breadth of the man barely uncomfortable. "Steel maybe. I've seen some neat ones on the net..."

It wasn't even in doubt that their futures were set in stone, that they'd be together for years if not eternity. Anyone else and he would have scoffed at the thought of talking about marriage after two kisses. Hell, it would have sent him running for the hills, it was insane.

But here there was no option. A few years down the line maybe, after they'd settled in with each other some more but it was honestly inevitable and there was no point in fighting it.

Chris uttered a satisfied noise, apparently glad at his agreement, and Josh closed his eyes to take in the sensation of the blond's fingers carding through his hair. There was one question though, that lingered in the back of his mind.

"How long?" He murmured in askance, eyes remaining shut in relaxation.

"What? Oh, uh...since I was fifteen maybe?"

Later than him but the thought of all the wasted time they'd made between them made Josh snort.

"You?"

"Sixth grade." He opened his eyes a crack, peered down.

Chris released a sharp sigh, rubbed at his eyes with a soft verse in Gaelic that sounded as frustrated as Josh felt.

"We're morons." 

"Mhm." Josh agreed, mouth twisting in a wry grin.

Not that it really mattered now. They'd gotten their acts together finally and now they were together and that was that. He could put the past where it belonged and focus on the present.

It was an amazing thing, to finally be able to do so. He tilted his head to smile at the blond, knocked Chris's glasses back into place and grinned wide at the others indignant squawk.

There would be difficulties in the future. He was still medication dependant, still had to fight the urge to consume the people around him. Chris would still have to deal with his dad, the pain of being what he was wrenching at him in more than one way.

They were in it together now though, a solid unified force and Josh felt confident they could take on anything that came their way.

**Author's Note:**

> So from what Ive read bout dullahan they belong to the unseelie court who are considered the dark fae. Theyre ruled by their passion and instincts and can be cruel. They can also take humans as pets if they care enough about them and thus tend to be very possessive.
> 
> So sinnamon!chris is a factor here i think fosho. 
> 
> Josh as a mostly recovered wendigo i feel would still be very animalistic about his urges but his personality is very sweet and sensetive so its a fun mix there too. anyways go check out spooky-scary-prince's tumblr here and give them lots of love! http://spooky-scary-prince.tumblr.com/


End file.
